So last we spoke about this, I was merrily eating yummy tasting ice chips after my bowl obstruction surgery was over, with a side of excruciating shoulder pains.
Over the next few days I was able to eat more than just a few bites of my clear liquids diet, and everything stayed down. Yay! When I ate though, it stimulated my intestines and that meant sudden and urgent flying trips to the toilet. What a nice surprise. Okay that was sarcasm. What ISN'T sarcasm was the great surprise that BK and Jake planned on that Saturday to drive down to Toronto to let my family visit me, and to pick up Dhara and take her back with them. It was so great to see my family, but Sage was shy and made strange with me because I had an oxygen tube in my nose and the IVs in my arm. I let him have a drink from my pitcher of water and ice (which looked like a giant paper cup) and that eased his apprehension. Hayden asked a bunch of questions and Jake sat quietly holding my hand. It was great to see them but I got tired quickly and they didn't end up staying very long.
That night around 10pm I had heart palpatations which lasted (by the clock) 3 minutes. I called the nurse and let her know. She said if it happens again she would call the heart specialist to come take a look. At 11:30pm they started again and I rang for the nurse. They didn't stop this time. At first I thought "I hope this lasts until the heart people get here", so they'd be able to see the problem and know how to fix it. But half an hour later my room was full of people and equipment and it was still going on and they were loading me with drugs, I took back that thought and just wanted it to end. The doctor said "Okay this drug will feel like a kick in the chest. Ready?" She administered it. I asked when the kick in the chest would happen, having felt nothing but the heart palpatations. She said "hmm" and then decided to move me to the respiratory/heart floor. So off we went. I said goodbye to my private room and was wheeled up a floor and into a very hot room with someone snoring in it. We were there about 10 minutes when the doc said she wanted me in the ICU. The nurse who'd moved all my stuff had just arrived with it when we were out the door and on our way downstairs to ICU. I'm actually surprised I didn't lose anything.
In the ICU the team who'd been trying to put IV's in me succeeded in getting additional ports in so I had a total of 6, and one was arterial. My flesh on my arms was almost completely bruises and swollen as a result. Later when Carol was there, she counted seven bags of stuff dripping into me at once. The doctor told me that my heart was beating over 200 beats per minute and I had v-fib. For my own sake just now I looked up the wikipedia definition:
Ventricular fibrillation (V-fib or VF) is a condition in which there is uncoordinated contraction of the cardiac muscle of the ventricles in the heart, making them quiver rather than contract properly. While there is activity, perhaps best described as "writhing like a can filled with worms" it is undetectable by palpation (feeling) at major pulse points of the carotid and femoral arteries especially by the lay person. Such an arrhythmia is only confirmed by ECG/EKG. Ventricular fibrillation is a medical emergency that requires prompt BLS/ACLS interventions because should the arrhythmia continue for more than a few seconds, it will likely degenerate further into asystole (a flat ECG with no rhythm- which is usually not responsive to therapy unless there is still some residual fine VF rhythm left or the patient is otherwise lucky and is treated very quickly); after this, within minutes blood circulation will cease, and sudden cardiac death (SCD) may occur in a matter of minutes and/or the patient could sustain irreversible brain damage and possibly be left brain dead (death often occurs if normal sinus rhythm is not restored within 90 seconds of the onset of VF, especially if it has degenerated further into asystole).
There was a lot of activity around me, obviously, with doctors telling me different options they were going to try to get my heart rate down and back to normal. One doctor told me she wanted to tilt the bed to a radical angle with my head down and then something else but I don't remember what, and the main doctor who was with me from the beginning said if the drugs she was giving me didn't start to work she was going to have to shock me. Defibrulate me. At this point I thought I was going to die. I was so scared and I cried, thinking of Jake and the boys and how sorry I was to have chosen to do this to myself and to them.
By the morning my heart rate had slowed down to 140 beats per minute and the v-fib was way less. No shocking had had to happen, no tilting the bed, yay the drugs worked.
Sunday I wasn't able to sleep. Every time I closed my eyes scary and gross visualizations came to my eyes immediately. I couldn't help imagining horrible things happening to my kids and to me and the lack of sleep was making me halucinate sounds. I thought I heard a song (that now I can't remember) being played over and over again, and I even asked a nurse about it. He thought I was crazy, of course. A day or so later I heard the humming noise of the machines that were making me think they were music. But back to Sunday. That night I didn't sleep either, except for maybe 1-2 hours. It was such a long night. By the next day I had banished the negative halucinations and replaced them with peaceful relaxing japanese gardens, pink blossoms, silken king-sized bed with dark wood headboard and flowing pink fabric blowing gently in the breeze. I could even hear beautiful music. All when I closed my eyes. I wasn't sleeping, and I'm pretty sure it wasn't drugs, although maybe it was the sleep deprivation and the drugs together, but when my eyes were open I wasn't halucinating. Even during blinks it was there. I could go on about my lucid fantastical waking dreams, but it would be a book.
On Monday Dr Smith sent me for a CT scan. He thought a blood clot had possibly caused all these problems. Unfortunately all the fluids they'd pumped me with caused me to be too heavy for the CT machine. The bed I was in weighed me at having gained 45 pounds of fluid since surgery. Dr Smith came and told me that since they couldn't look with the CT, he wanted to look with his laproscopic scopes. Open me up again. Of course I agreed to this third surgery. He also said he possibly wanted to keep me out for the rest of the night and wake me up on Tuesday, giving my body rest. At the time it sounded great. The surgery was scheduled for early that evening. I was told later it lasted 45 minutes or so. They found infection and abscess and icky stuff galore. They put in 2 drains.
I have to take a break. More later.
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
Saturday, July 10, 2010
Maybe it was worth it. Maybe.
I had a very big "WOW" moment today. But first the bad news. Today when I was at my daily nursing appointment to cleanse my two remaining wounds and rebandage them, she told me that the one was still infected and actually deeper than it had been two weeks ago. Also the infection has spread to my other wound which has also gotten deeper. She didn't tell me how deep they were, but they had both been 4.5 cms about 2 weeks ago. This news made me depressed, but the nurse assured me that daily cleansing would get rid of the infections and THEN we would be able to see the healing begin. Still that wasn't very nice news.
So what did I do? I went shopping with a girlfriend! We stopped in at Pennington's and were overjoyed to see the 70% off sale sign in the window! I really wanted to see what size I am. I was a 5X if I stretched it, buying 6X when I could find 'em. It felt really wrong to take the 4X's off the racks, which was my guess. Then I saw a beautiful dress that was super duper on sale, and I thought immediately of my cousin's wedding coming up in October, and I was encouraged to try on the largest size they still had, just to see, so I put on the 3X and
IT FREAKIN FIT!!!!
I bought the 2X for the wedding, and the saleswoman showed me where and how I should take it in if it's too big by then. Very easily, I might add. AND it was only $24!!
The other 4X shirts were roomy, which I couldn't believe. My brain is still a 5-6X but my bod is a 3-4X! I wonder how long till I convince my brain of that?
So what did I do? I went shopping with a girlfriend! We stopped in at Pennington's and were overjoyed to see the 70% off sale sign in the window! I really wanted to see what size I am. I was a 5X if I stretched it, buying 6X when I could find 'em. It felt really wrong to take the 4X's off the racks, which was my guess. Then I saw a beautiful dress that was super duper on sale, and I thought immediately of my cousin's wedding coming up in October, and I was encouraged to try on the largest size they still had, just to see, so I put on the 3X and
IT FREAKIN FIT!!!!
I bought the 2X for the wedding, and the saleswoman showed me where and how I should take it in if it's too big by then. Very easily, I might add. AND it was only $24!!
The other 4X shirts were roomy, which I couldn't believe. My brain is still a 5-6X but my bod is a 3-4X! I wonder how long till I convince my brain of that?
Monday, July 05, 2010
Physical Update
So here I am, 83 lbs less of me than at Christmas. Some "Before/During" pictures for your viewing .. um.. curiosity.
Sunday, July 04, 2010
Details
This might be a long one.
On Sunday May 16th Carol and I with Dhara drove to Toronto and slept overnight at her mother in law's place (Sheena) in Mississauga. I had to be at the hospital for 10am the next morning for my surgery which was scheduled for noon. We were on time, and I wore a gown that fit nicely but the robe to cover the back end was a little short. LOL. Not TOO short, just not comfortably long. At about 11am after my blood pressure was taken many times to get a good reading (and left a lovely bruise on my left arm) I was led to a reclining chair in order for my IV to be put in. I wasn't nervous or scared of the surgery and I wasn't having any second thoughts. Carol was gracious enough not to ask me if I was still "sure" this was the right thing to do.
At 12:45 the anesthesiologist came and got me and I walked down the hall to the operating room. The room was cold but the blankets were warm and some people with masks introduced themselves to me and I recognized Dr Smith's eyes. They arranged me with arms out and pillows under my head and then told me to breath deeply in an oxygen mask and I did and then I woke up in pain in recovery. They gave me morphine and had already started the gravol so I wouldn't be nauseaus. Carol came in for a minute and I felt like I should try to be more awake for her, but I was just so groggy and painy still that I just wanted to sleep until the pain was gone. After a while I was wheeled to my PRIVATE room (yay!) and Carol was allowed to stay with me.
The rest of the day and into the next I had to use a bed pan when I wanted to pee. That was difficult to overcome psychologically. I had to actually say out loud to myself "It's okay to pee now. It's okay to pee now." before I could relax enough to pee lying down in bed.
I would say the puking started Tuesday afternoon. I had been given my clear soup and diet chemical flavoured jello but not able to eat more than a bite or two. I was drinking sips of water and ice chips, and the first time I puked it was clear and watery. And then it turned brownish blackish and there was so much of it. I was filling two of the buckets they provided at a time. I found the morphine took the nausea away, but no one listened to me about that. They said the morphine caused more nausea. Later I retrospected that the morphine merely calmed my intestines down or sedated them so they didn't have the energy to heave their loads back up my mouth. The doctors did a CT scan on Thursday morning because the throwing up was not stopping, and it showed that where the intestines had been surgically attached, they had healed in a kink and were obstructed. I was scheduled for another surgery to correct the problem that same day. They were not able to accomplish their goal through laproscopic methods and so I ended up with 27 staples from my belly button up about 5". At least there were 27 of them.
That night was horrible. I woke up in the early wee hours of the morning with a stabbing terrible pain in the front of my shoulder. I was hooked up to a morphine clicky thing that I could click every 5 minutes for one little shot of the drug, but morphine wasn't helping this pain. I knew from my research that it was most likely gas from the laproscopic procedure (they fill your abdomen up with air so they can see what they're doing and some can get trapped and is quite painful). I read that gas x strips help. I had brought some but they were ever so far away in my duffle bag and the pain was so debilatating I could not move. I couldn't even move to find my nurses call bell. So I had to yell. I yelled feebly for help several times before Bev the Nurse From Hell came into the room. She argued with me that my shoulder didn't hurt that much because I was using so much of the morphine, and that it wasn't gas in my SHOULDER it must be muscle pain from how I lay during surgery. She sternly told me I was to have nothing by mouth including those strips and then implied that I probably got my bowels obstructed in the first place because I didn't follow the rules. She was mean, rude, and even though I was begging with her for something else because the pain was not going away, she didn't care. She told me to be quiet so the other patients could sleep. And maybe I passed out from pain. No, I wish I had. The next day an anesthesiologist came to see me and she said yes it was most likely gas pain and gave me some IV anti-inflamatory which took the edge off.
The good news was that I felt much better. No more nausea! I was only allowed ice chips, but they were the best friggin tasting things ever. I even had to get Carol to taste them to make sure they were plain, and not sweetened.
To Be Continued.
On Sunday May 16th Carol and I with Dhara drove to Toronto and slept overnight at her mother in law's place (Sheena) in Mississauga. I had to be at the hospital for 10am the next morning for my surgery which was scheduled for noon. We were on time, and I wore a gown that fit nicely but the robe to cover the back end was a little short. LOL. Not TOO short, just not comfortably long. At about 11am after my blood pressure was taken many times to get a good reading (and left a lovely bruise on my left arm) I was led to a reclining chair in order for my IV to be put in. I wasn't nervous or scared of the surgery and I wasn't having any second thoughts. Carol was gracious enough not to ask me if I was still "sure" this was the right thing to do.
At 12:45 the anesthesiologist came and got me and I walked down the hall to the operating room. The room was cold but the blankets were warm and some people with masks introduced themselves to me and I recognized Dr Smith's eyes. They arranged me with arms out and pillows under my head and then told me to breath deeply in an oxygen mask and I did and then I woke up in pain in recovery. They gave me morphine and had already started the gravol so I wouldn't be nauseaus. Carol came in for a minute and I felt like I should try to be more awake for her, but I was just so groggy and painy still that I just wanted to sleep until the pain was gone. After a while I was wheeled to my PRIVATE room (yay!) and Carol was allowed to stay with me.
The rest of the day and into the next I had to use a bed pan when I wanted to pee. That was difficult to overcome psychologically. I had to actually say out loud to myself "It's okay to pee now. It's okay to pee now." before I could relax enough to pee lying down in bed.
I would say the puking started Tuesday afternoon. I had been given my clear soup and diet chemical flavoured jello but not able to eat more than a bite or two. I was drinking sips of water and ice chips, and the first time I puked it was clear and watery. And then it turned brownish blackish and there was so much of it. I was filling two of the buckets they provided at a time. I found the morphine took the nausea away, but no one listened to me about that. They said the morphine caused more nausea. Later I retrospected that the morphine merely calmed my intestines down or sedated them so they didn't have the energy to heave their loads back up my mouth. The doctors did a CT scan on Thursday morning because the throwing up was not stopping, and it showed that where the intestines had been surgically attached, they had healed in a kink and were obstructed. I was scheduled for another surgery to correct the problem that same day. They were not able to accomplish their goal through laproscopic methods and so I ended up with 27 staples from my belly button up about 5". At least there were 27 of them.
That night was horrible. I woke up in the early wee hours of the morning with a stabbing terrible pain in the front of my shoulder. I was hooked up to a morphine clicky thing that I could click every 5 minutes for one little shot of the drug, but morphine wasn't helping this pain. I knew from my research that it was most likely gas from the laproscopic procedure (they fill your abdomen up with air so they can see what they're doing and some can get trapped and is quite painful). I read that gas x strips help. I had brought some but they were ever so far away in my duffle bag and the pain was so debilatating I could not move. I couldn't even move to find my nurses call bell. So I had to yell. I yelled feebly for help several times before Bev the Nurse From Hell came into the room. She argued with me that my shoulder didn't hurt that much because I was using so much of the morphine, and that it wasn't gas in my SHOULDER it must be muscle pain from how I lay during surgery. She sternly told me I was to have nothing by mouth including those strips and then implied that I probably got my bowels obstructed in the first place because I didn't follow the rules. She was mean, rude, and even though I was begging with her for something else because the pain was not going away, she didn't care. She told me to be quiet so the other patients could sleep. And maybe I passed out from pain. No, I wish I had. The next day an anesthesiologist came to see me and she said yes it was most likely gas pain and gave me some IV anti-inflamatory which took the edge off.
The good news was that I felt much better. No more nausea! I was only allowed ice chips, but they were the best friggin tasting things ever. I even had to get Carol to taste them to make sure they were plain, and not sweetened.
To Be Continued.
Saturday, July 03, 2010
HAPPY BIRTHDAY SARAHS!!!
Sarah V and Sarah M Happy Birthday you gorgeous girls!!!
Have a great day both of you and the best of wishes and fortune for the coming year.
Love
Jennifer
Have a great day both of you and the best of wishes and fortune for the coming year.
Love
Jennifer
Back By Popular Demand
I'm back to blogging! Lookit!
I have been laid up and unable to blog for quite some time, the story I hope to relate to you soon or in parts.
I would first like to begin by saying that I had fresh blueberries and yogurt last night and it was delicious! Jake and the boys went blueberry picking on Canada day and got some really nice tasty berries. The boys picked and ate, Jake picked and brought home. Nothing like fresh blueberries.
So here's why I couldn't blog. I went for surgery on May 17th to have an RNY gastric bypass. There were complications and I didn't get out of the hospital for 3 weeks and 2 days. I'm recouperating now at home, but it takes a lot out of me to sit up straight, so I don't like "wasting" my limited time at the computer. I'm getting better and better though, so hopefully blogging will be part of my regime again on a regular basis.
We're off to the grocery store now though, and I'm excited to try out one of those scooter thingies for the first time. LOL Watch out other customers!
I'll write more soon I promise.
I have been laid up and unable to blog for quite some time, the story I hope to relate to you soon or in parts.
I would first like to begin by saying that I had fresh blueberries and yogurt last night and it was delicious! Jake and the boys went blueberry picking on Canada day and got some really nice tasty berries. The boys picked and ate, Jake picked and brought home. Nothing like fresh blueberries.
So here's why I couldn't blog. I went for surgery on May 17th to have an RNY gastric bypass. There were complications and I didn't get out of the hospital for 3 weeks and 2 days. I'm recouperating now at home, but it takes a lot out of me to sit up straight, so I don't like "wasting" my limited time at the computer. I'm getting better and better though, so hopefully blogging will be part of my regime again on a regular basis.
We're off to the grocery store now though, and I'm excited to try out one of those scooter thingies for the first time. LOL Watch out other customers!
I'll write more soon I promise.
Thursday, May 13, 2010
This Week
We've been having a good week mostly this week. Mother's day was a toughie for me, but the Pastor at church was Skyped in and projected onto the wall so that was cool, and then later at my dad's place Carol and her family were in town so we played in the yard then took a short walk over to the park and kids got to climb and play before birthday supper for my dad at my place. We ended up keeping Elora with us for the week or whenever she couldn't stand being away from her family any more, which actually was today. We each drove halfway and met just before Verner to hand the little girl back to her daddy. She had a good time, only tearful at bedtime a little each night, but I guess Dhara wasn't having a good time either, and also Dhara will have her turn away next week as she's accompanying me and Carol to Toronto for the week, so it's good they have a few days together again as buffer between absences.
Last night Jake set up the bouncy castle and the kids jumped and jumped and jumped and Hayden and Elora got very staticy hair. Sage's is too short to stand on end, but holy crow did Elora ever make up for it! Then we got the bubble gun and mega-bubble-wand out and they ran and ran and ran with Tilly, chasing bubbles on the grass.
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And when we got back from driving Elora to Verner, this is what our lovely grassy lawn was doing:
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No more lawn. They're putting in a parking lot. I feel very crappy about this. When I talked to the landlord to ask what the heck was happening he said "oh I guess I should've warned you. Sorry." You THINK??? They "needed the space" and "that grass was damaged anyway" by the trucks they'd parked there over the winter (5 half ton trucks along that white wall) and the pontoon boat that sat there all summer long for the past 5 years, unused.
I am thinking I would like a small fence erected, or at least reflective markers, telling the people who are going to be parking there how close they are allowed to get to our house.
And guess who was driving the bulldozer. Mr Crabby Gardener Himself. Laughing like a maniac the whole time. TAKE THAT!! AND THAT!! I heard him yelling as he destroyed and killed the lawn we use. Okay no I didn't hear that, but last year I was upset he mowed down my daffodils and lilacs. This year he's mowing down the whole freaking lawn. I suspect our house will be next.
But I can't let this get to me. I have positive thinking about my surgery to do.
The plan is as follows: Sunday we were going to go to church, but I think I'm being talked into skipping it and heading to North Bay with the family a little earlier. Tilly will be watched by friends in town. After reaching North Bay, Carol, Dhara, and I will head south to Toronto and stay at Carol's mother-in-law's house. Sheena has very graciously let me stay there while I recover, before they let me leave town. Monday morning at 10am I will arrive, unpanicked, at St Joseph Health Centre in downtown Toronto. Surgery is scheduled for noon. It will take about 3-3.5 hours. Once recovered enough, Carol will be allowed to come in and see me. She's promised to doink chin hairs while I'm still out of it. Her suggestion. Three nights I will be in the hospital. On Thursday at some point I will be allowed to leave, but like I said, they've asked me to stay in the area for another three nights JUST IN CASE something happens, I'd be very close to immediate help. Sunday morning we will head back to North Bay. Depending how that car ride goes pain-wise, we might stay over the night and come the rest of the way home on Monday.
If you pray, please pray for me. If you don't, please wish for a perfect performance by Dr Smith. If you don't do wishing either, pretend you do and do it anyway. THANK YOU.
Saturday, May 01, 2010
Wow Moments
Surgery is two weeks away and after almost two weeks on Optifast liquid diet, yesterday I had my first wows.
1) My jeans are loose. I don't wear them that often, but I tried a pair on today and I can hold the waistband away from my skin by a whole bunch! I can even pull them down without undoing the button. Wow! [side note, I might need to get a belt soon.]
2) Sitting in the "guest" chair in my bosses' office was not painful! It usually is, and if I'm there long I end up with severe pins and needles in my feet because of the circulation being cut off. But yesterday (I was away for a week) I sat and was not in pain! I couldn't believe it and made several excuses to go back to her and talk, just so I could sit in that chair again and make sure it wasn't my imagination.
3) A male co-worker who is well liked by all and very hip and funny noticed I've lost weight! Here's how it went down:
I was standing near the printer which is outside Derek's office, waiting for a large document to print. Derek came by and said "Hello!" as it was our first encounter of the day. "Hello," I said back to him. He kept walking into his office. About 5 seconds later he poked his head out his door and said "Um, " and I knew what he was going to say. Or rather, I hoped I knew. "Um, you've lost weight, eh?" he said kind of quietly. I beamed at him and said "yup!" "That's great! good for you," he beamed back, then returned into his office. Another 5-10 seconds passed and he poked out again "How much have you lost?" he inquired politely. "Thirty" I informed him. I had lost 29 lbs as of Monday and figured that rounding up one pound after an additional 4 days on Optifast wouldn't hurt. "Wow! that's really good!" Then he almost went back into his office again but instead came over to me, to have, I suppose, an official conversation. "So what are you doing?" I told him about the shakes in preparation for WLS and he was very happy for me. He used to be chubby too, before I met him 7 years ago, but took up running and now is quite the athelete. He's an awesome human being all around and I'm just thrilled to the nines that he noticed the difference already.
And to top everything off with a sugar-free cherry, when I got home from work before I could finish telling all my exciting wow moments to Jake, he was looking at me with such pride and lots of kisses and hugs I felt completely loved and cherished by my wonderful husband.
And nobody AIN'T seen NOTHIN YET!!
1) My jeans are loose. I don't wear them that often, but I tried a pair on today and I can hold the waistband away from my skin by a whole bunch! I can even pull them down without undoing the button. Wow! [side note, I might need to get a belt soon.]
2) Sitting in the "guest" chair in my bosses' office was not painful! It usually is, and if I'm there long I end up with severe pins and needles in my feet because of the circulation being cut off. But yesterday (I was away for a week) I sat and was not in pain! I couldn't believe it and made several excuses to go back to her and talk, just so I could sit in that chair again and make sure it wasn't my imagination.
3) A male co-worker who is well liked by all and very hip and funny noticed I've lost weight! Here's how it went down:
I was standing near the printer which is outside Derek's office, waiting for a large document to print. Derek came by and said "Hello!" as it was our first encounter of the day. "Hello," I said back to him. He kept walking into his office. About 5 seconds later he poked his head out his door and said "Um, " and I knew what he was going to say. Or rather, I hoped I knew. "Um, you've lost weight, eh?" he said kind of quietly. I beamed at him and said "yup!" "That's great! good for you," he beamed back, then returned into his office. Another 5-10 seconds passed and he poked out again "How much have you lost?" he inquired politely. "Thirty" I informed him. I had lost 29 lbs as of Monday and figured that rounding up one pound after an additional 4 days on Optifast wouldn't hurt. "Wow! that's really good!" Then he almost went back into his office again but instead came over to me, to have, I suppose, an official conversation. "So what are you doing?" I told him about the shakes in preparation for WLS and he was very happy for me. He used to be chubby too, before I met him 7 years ago, but took up running and now is quite the athelete. He's an awesome human being all around and I'm just thrilled to the nines that he noticed the difference already.
And to top everything off with a sugar-free cherry, when I got home from work before I could finish telling all my exciting wow moments to Jake, he was looking at me with such pride and lots of kisses and hugs I felt completely loved and cherished by my wonderful husband.
And nobody AIN'T seen NOTHIN YET!!
Monday, April 12, 2010
Last Week Of Food
Dear Food,
It's been so great knowing you. You've really comforted me in the past, and I've enjoyed a lot of you. Too much. This is our last week together for a while. And French Fries? Don't cry darlings, but I'm going to say good bye to you forever. You'll do fine. Someone else will eat you. I'm sure of it.
We sure had some good times tho, didn't we? Remember all those times Marshmallows, when I ate you hot, and sometimes burnt, off sticks? Those were fun times. And chocolate? Remember when I didn't feel guitly when I ate you? Pizza, you old kidder you. C'mon! Give us a hug before we go our separate ways.
I'll miss you, but it's for the best. I have new friends now. Their names are Small Portions and Healthy Choices. But I won't get to know them for a while yet. After our last week together is over, four weeks of liquid meal replacement shakes to get some pounds off before surgery. It's coming up fast. May 17th is but five wee short weeks away.
I'll never forget you, Food. You'll probably hear me crying your name until I get completely over you. But please don't come back to me. Not in the way we've known each other for so long. We're just not meant to be together that way any more.
Love
Jennifer
It's been so great knowing you. You've really comforted me in the past, and I've enjoyed a lot of you. Too much. This is our last week together for a while. And French Fries? Don't cry darlings, but I'm going to say good bye to you forever. You'll do fine. Someone else will eat you. I'm sure of it.
We sure had some good times tho, didn't we? Remember all those times Marshmallows, when I ate you hot, and sometimes burnt, off sticks? Those were fun times. And chocolate? Remember when I didn't feel guitly when I ate you? Pizza, you old kidder you. C'mon! Give us a hug before we go our separate ways.
I'll miss you, but it's for the best. I have new friends now. Their names are Small Portions and Healthy Choices. But I won't get to know them for a while yet. After our last week together is over, four weeks of liquid meal replacement shakes to get some pounds off before surgery. It's coming up fast. May 17th is but five wee short weeks away.
I'll never forget you, Food. You'll probably hear me crying your name until I get completely over you. But please don't come back to me. Not in the way we've known each other for so long. We're just not meant to be together that way any more.
Love
Jennifer
Sunday, April 11, 2010
La Musique!
I bought a beginner piano book and started teaching Hayden how to play. He's getting a free trial lesson on Thursday, and the book is the one the teacher recommended. He has two other 5-year-old students and said that if Hayden is motivated (which he is highly) it could go very well. And so far, it looks like my little sponge-ola is destined to be a great concert pianist!! Which is appropriate, because when he was a newborn everyone said his fingers are so long he'll be a great piano player. If his ears were long they might've said he'd be a great piano tuner, and if his arms were long they might've said he'd be a great piano mover.
Move over Beethoven!
Move over Beethoven!
Saturday, April 03, 2010
On the hunt...
On Tuesday returning from another batch of appointments in Toronto, Jake and I were stopped at a little shop on the highway, one that sold kitchy wooden things like muskoka chairs and carved animals out of tree stumps, when all of a sudden a T-Rex came roaring by and almost ate me! Jake was able to stop it right after he snapped this photo by throwing a shoe at its nose and then taunting it with mean comments about its mother and upbringing. It slunk away in shame and didn't bother us any more.
Monday, March 15, 2010
HAPPY BIRTHDAY BrOTHER IN LAW!!
Happy Birthday to youuuu
Happy Birthday To Youuuu!
Happy BIRTHDAY DEAR BEEEEJAAAAAYYYYY
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOUUUUUU!
Happy Birthday To Youuuu!
Happy BIRTHDAY DEAR BEEEEJAAAAAYYYYY
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOUUUUUU!
Sunday, March 14, 2010
Darkness
I'm being ecologically friendly with my dark blog. It will take less energy for all your computers out there to project it. Yay for me! My carbon footprint went from a size 10 to a size 9.999999.
Enjoy.
Enjoy.
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
Changing My Picture
I'm at work. I don't have my camera with me, nor my very beautiful tulips that I bought last Saturday (potted) and which are blooming a gorgeous red. But I'm going to take a picture of them and put it up. Cuz it's spring! It's spring time, the spring time, the only purdy ring time.
When the birds do sing hey ding-a-ding-ding sweet lovers love the spring.
That snowman contest has no chance.
As I'm getting ready for choir tonight, I think I'll tell the story of this past Sunday when Jake and I were baptized in our beautiful church.
There were 15 other people getting baptized as well. Jake was a last minute entry because Pastor Pitts lovingly muscled him into doing it with me. Jake got the day off work and we got there early, changed into our robes and the pastor spoke with us and we gave testimony of our love of Jesus, and one by one we went SPLOOSH in a little pool built into the stage. It's probably 8'x5', waist deep. Stairs down. The water was nice and warm. The feeling was amazing. The support of all the congregation was generous. My friends who go with us are inspirational. I love the feeling of community, closeness, and sharing this never-before explored part of my life.
At the Homebuilders meeting Jake and I went to last night (young couples and singles from the church who get together for bible study and other fun things, at the same time the kids go to Boys and Girls Club yay free babysitting!) the leader of the group said how proud of us he was, and then said he would have been so nervous to have gotten up in front of 700 people and spoken. And my jaw dropped. I DIDN'T KNOW THERE WERE 700 PEOPLE THERE!! I would've been WAY more nervous!! As it was, I felt so nervous waiting in the back and then waiting our turn sitting in our seats on stage that I was a little nauseous. And dizzy. And hoping not to hurt myself by falling down the stairs or if the water wasn't deep enough to have to use my stomach muscles (what stomach muscles?) to right myself again. And before that I worried if the robe wouldn't fit, like it didn't at my college graduation. But it went so smooth! And when it was my turn, all the nausea went away. I wasn't even terribly fearful of speeching my little speech. I kept my eyes down tho. There's a video which we will get on Sunday. I didn't know we were being videoed either. I will see if I can upload it. Or maybe I don't want to. We'll see how it looks. Heheheee!
I am going now to warm up my home made chicken with whole wheat linguini tetrazzini with cauliflower and mushrooms in a blush sauce. Then off to choir!!
...as I went down to the river to pray, studying about that good old way...
When the birds do sing hey ding-a-ding-ding sweet lovers love the spring.
That snowman contest has no chance.
As I'm getting ready for choir tonight, I think I'll tell the story of this past Sunday when Jake and I were baptized in our beautiful church.
There were 15 other people getting baptized as well. Jake was a last minute entry because Pastor Pitts lovingly muscled him into doing it with me. Jake got the day off work and we got there early, changed into our robes and the pastor spoke with us and we gave testimony of our love of Jesus, and one by one we went SPLOOSH in a little pool built into the stage. It's probably 8'x5', waist deep. Stairs down. The water was nice and warm. The feeling was amazing. The support of all the congregation was generous. My friends who go with us are inspirational. I love the feeling of community, closeness, and sharing this never-before explored part of my life.
At the Homebuilders meeting Jake and I went to last night (young couples and singles from the church who get together for bible study and other fun things, at the same time the kids go to Boys and Girls Club yay free babysitting!) the leader of the group said how proud of us he was, and then said he would have been so nervous to have gotten up in front of 700 people and spoken. And my jaw dropped. I DIDN'T KNOW THERE WERE 700 PEOPLE THERE!! I would've been WAY more nervous!! As it was, I felt so nervous waiting in the back and then waiting our turn sitting in our seats on stage that I was a little nauseous. And dizzy. And hoping not to hurt myself by falling down the stairs or if the water wasn't deep enough to have to use my stomach muscles (what stomach muscles?) to right myself again. And before that I worried if the robe wouldn't fit, like it didn't at my college graduation. But it went so smooth! And when it was my turn, all the nausea went away. I wasn't even terribly fearful of speeching my little speech. I kept my eyes down tho. There's a video which we will get on Sunday. I didn't know we were being videoed either. I will see if I can upload it. Or maybe I don't want to. We'll see how it looks. Heheheee!
I am going now to warm up my home made chicken with whole wheat linguini tetrazzini with cauliflower and mushrooms in a blush sauce. Then off to choir!!
...as I went down to the river to pray, studying about that good old way...
Thursday, March 04, 2010
Winter?
(Sorry Yellowknifers)
What happened to winter this year? There's a snowman contest on at work, but it got extended due to no snow! I did submit a photo of the boys, well, one boy and one snow-boy which I've put up top.
We haven't had significant snowfall since well before Christmas. And this morning I heard birds chirping. For the next 4 days it's supposed to be 3-5 degrees ABOVE freezing!
I must say, it's making THIS summer look like it's going to be GOOOOOOOOOOOD!
Yay Spring!
What happened to winter this year? There's a snowman contest on at work, but it got extended due to no snow! I did submit a photo of the boys, well, one boy and one snow-boy which I've put up top.
We haven't had significant snowfall since well before Christmas. And this morning I heard birds chirping. For the next 4 days it's supposed to be 3-5 degrees ABOVE freezing!
I must say, it's making THIS summer look like it's going to be GOOOOOOOOOOOD!
Yay Spring!
Monday, February 22, 2010
Birthdays on the 17th, 18th, 19th of February
My apologies for the belatedness of these birthday wishes.
Happy birthday to KEEGAN!! Yay you're four!!
Happy birthday to DHARA!! Yay you're three!!
Happy birthday to ELORA!! Yay you're three!!
Happy birthday to ROBBIE!! Yay you're three!!
Happy birthday to KEEGAN!! Yay you're four!!
Happy birthday to DHARA!! Yay you're three!!
Happy birthday to ELORA!! Yay you're three!!
Happy birthday to ROBBIE!! Yay you're three!!
Friday, February 12, 2010
My Miracle
I know that everyone I know is not a Christian. I understand that, having only recently turned my own 180 degrees and am now developing my relationship with God and Jesus. But here's the miracle that happened that just confirms to me even more that I'm doing the right thing.
Two Sundays ago we had a sermon regarding tithing and the message was [not verbatim] "nothing we have is ours, it's all God's. God's kingdom, God's stuff, God's money. Give Him 10% of your earnings in tithes, and you shall receive his blessings in abundance." While we have not given 10% into the offering pouch yet, I have been trying to keep that lesson in mind, especially recently. Now I'll get to the story of what happened.
On Tuesday on my way to work, I noticed that my pinky finger ring that Jake had given to me for Christmas was not on my finger. I checked my glove, my pockets, called Jake and got him to check the places I could think of, but we didn't find it. It was a little bit big for my pinky finger, but fit alright when I was warm. I had thought about getting it sized, but then decided not to because when I lose weight it will be a wonderful day when I can move the size seven ring over to another finger. I felt devastation at the loss of it, but I remembered the sermon and considered that it wasn't mine.I knew that I was only meant to have that ring for that amount of time and now it was free to roam the world. I thought about it floating through the pipes if it had fallen off during my shower, making its long and arduous way to the water treatment facility. I thought about another scenario where it may have fallen off my finger in Toronto (we were there on Monday) and who may have found it and what their life might be like. I thought about it being lost somewhere in our house and the next tenants to live here finding it after we move. But honestly, the sense of loss was gone because I had truly given up ownership and accepted my fate. Even yesterday afternoon my thumb felt the place where the ring used to be, and it crossed my mind to tell some of my friends at work about losing the ring, but I had accepted so quickly that it was gone that I didn't need to tell anyone.
On my way home from work I sent a little prayer up to Jesus, letting him know that I would never bargain-pray to him: "If you do this for me, then I promise I'll do that for you." The prayer must have had 'priority' written on it, because he got it and send down my blessing within a few minutes. When I got home, Jake met me at the front door with my ring!
I truly believe the ring came back to me because of the progress I'm making spiritually. And I have news for you, Piers Anthony, God is not asleep at the wheel. He's doing just fine, active, working in that mysterious way that he has.
Two Sundays ago we had a sermon regarding tithing and the message was [not verbatim] "nothing we have is ours, it's all God's. God's kingdom, God's stuff, God's money. Give Him 10% of your earnings in tithes, and you shall receive his blessings in abundance." While we have not given 10% into the offering pouch yet, I have been trying to keep that lesson in mind, especially recently. Now I'll get to the story of what happened.
On Tuesday on my way to work, I noticed that my pinky finger ring that Jake had given to me for Christmas was not on my finger. I checked my glove, my pockets, called Jake and got him to check the places I could think of, but we didn't find it. It was a little bit big for my pinky finger, but fit alright when I was warm. I had thought about getting it sized, but then decided not to because when I lose weight it will be a wonderful day when I can move the size seven ring over to another finger. I felt devastation at the loss of it, but I remembered the sermon and considered that it wasn't mine.I knew that I was only meant to have that ring for that amount of time and now it was free to roam the world. I thought about it floating through the pipes if it had fallen off during my shower, making its long and arduous way to the water treatment facility. I thought about another scenario where it may have fallen off my finger in Toronto (we were there on Monday) and who may have found it and what their life might be like. I thought about it being lost somewhere in our house and the next tenants to live here finding it after we move. But honestly, the sense of loss was gone because I had truly given up ownership and accepted my fate. Even yesterday afternoon my thumb felt the place where the ring used to be, and it crossed my mind to tell some of my friends at work about losing the ring, but I had accepted so quickly that it was gone that I didn't need to tell anyone.
On my way home from work I sent a little prayer up to Jesus, letting him know that I would never bargain-pray to him: "If you do this for me, then I promise I'll do that for you." The prayer must have had 'priority' written on it, because he got it and send down my blessing within a few minutes. When I got home, Jake met me at the front door with my ring!
I truly believe the ring came back to me because of the progress I'm making spiritually. And I have news for you, Piers Anthony, God is not asleep at the wheel. He's doing just fine, active, working in that mysterious way that he has.
Thursday, February 04, 2010
Honesty - Best Policy
I've realized today that being honest with your child can lead to opportunities not lost.
Every other Thursday, Hayden's school sends class by class down the street for skating instead of gym. There's a community centre with an outdoor rink. He's been once before and today is his second time going. We'd gotten him adjustable Toy Story skates (he is the smallest of the three adjustable sizes woohoo!) and a bicycle helmet. When he came home last time, he said he had the wrong kind of helmet; he needed "the kind with the lines". Puzzled by this, and hoping they didn't mean expensive hockey helmet, we forgot about it until I remembered yesterday morning and sent a note to Madame asking what kind we needed. I related Hayden's description. Unfortunately for Hayden, I was at choir last night and didn't remember to check for the response from his teacher until 11pm. But that didn't matter anyway since Friday is payday and we're out of money till then. She did say it was the hockey CSA approved helmet that was required.
Arg.
So as I was getting Hayden's snowpants and other wintery garb out for him, I decided it would be best to prepare him for the disappointment of not skating with the class and told him that I wasn't sending his skates. I told him we didn't have the right helmet and he would have to just watch the skating. I felt sad, but I hoped they would invite him to slip and slide around on the ice in his boots. But then he said "No no Mommy! Last time I wore Ryder's other one, the one with the lines!" OHHHHH. I tried to clarify, just to be sure "So there's extra ones for you to wear?" "Uh-huh." Great! With the bus already at the door (it sits there for a few minutes as we're the first stop) and Hayden fully winterized, I had just enough time to grab his skates from our wonderfully organized and neat closet, plop them into his school bag and attach his lunch bag to the knapsack strap.
Moral of the story: Always buy a lunch box for your child that has a handle with a buckle that can attach to the outside of the school bag.
Every other Thursday, Hayden's school sends class by class down the street for skating instead of gym. There's a community centre with an outdoor rink. He's been once before and today is his second time going. We'd gotten him adjustable Toy Story skates (he is the smallest of the three adjustable sizes woohoo!) and a bicycle helmet. When he came home last time, he said he had the wrong kind of helmet; he needed "the kind with the lines". Puzzled by this, and hoping they didn't mean expensive hockey helmet, we forgot about it until I remembered yesterday morning and sent a note to Madame asking what kind we needed. I related Hayden's description. Unfortunately for Hayden, I was at choir last night and didn't remember to check for the response from his teacher until 11pm. But that didn't matter anyway since Friday is payday and we're out of money till then. She did say it was the hockey CSA approved helmet that was required.
Arg.
So as I was getting Hayden's snowpants and other wintery garb out for him, I decided it would be best to prepare him for the disappointment of not skating with the class and told him that I wasn't sending his skates. I told him we didn't have the right helmet and he would have to just watch the skating. I felt sad, but I hoped they would invite him to slip and slide around on the ice in his boots. But then he said "No no Mommy! Last time I wore Ryder's other one, the one with the lines!" OHHHHH. I tried to clarify, just to be sure "So there's extra ones for you to wear?" "Uh-huh." Great! With the bus already at the door (it sits there for a few minutes as we're the first stop) and Hayden fully winterized, I had just enough time to grab his skates from our wonderfully organized and neat closet, plop them into his school bag and attach his lunch bag to the knapsack strap.
Moral of the story: Always buy a lunch box for your child that has a handle with a buckle that can attach to the outside of the school bag.
Tuesday, February 02, 2010
Happy Groundhog Day!
Okay listen up all you groundhogs out there who think you know so much! I want spring to arrive in good time. Not April, not in six weeks, not when you feel like it, sooner than that. Do you hear me? I want green grass and trees and budding flowers and bugs and birds and open water and all that jazz. So get on it, groundhogs, or I'll introduce you to my cat, Bunny Killer Kitty.
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