RIP little guy

Unfortunately yesterday when I checked on the kittens, the littlest one had died. I took it really hard. I cried all over the place, and when I walked in the back of the house looking for a place to bury him, I stepped into a hole, twisting my ankle and back as I fell, and lay on the ground crying for a few minutes. Jake came out to hug me and help me up. I didn't have a shovel though, so I had to dig a hole with a stick. I got about 6" deep, put the little guy curled up in a ball in the bottom of the hole, and covered him over with dirt. I rolled a very large rock over top of the grave so nothing would dig him up. I don't think he'd been eating properly. He was only half the size of the other kittens, who are all growing like weeds. I guess nature knows best, survival of the fittest and all that, but it's still so very sad. And it brings all my grief about my mom right back up to the surface again. And to top it all off, I told my team about it in this morning's preshift meeting, and I cried again. Needless to say I had a bad day today.