So last we spoke about this, I was merrily eating yummy tasting ice chips after my bowl obstruction surgery was over, with a side of excruciating shoulder pains.
Over the next few days I was able to eat more than just a few bites of my clear liquids diet, and everything stayed down. Yay! When I ate though, it stimulated my intestines and that meant sudden and urgent flying trips to the toilet. What a nice surprise. Okay that was sarcasm. What ISN'T sarcasm was the great surprise that BK and Jake planned on that Saturday to drive down to Toronto to let my family visit me, and to pick up Dhara and take her back with them. It was so great to see my family, but Sage was shy and made strange with me because I had an oxygen tube in my nose and the IVs in my arm. I let him have a drink from my pitcher of water and ice (which looked like a giant paper cup) and that eased his apprehension. Hayden asked a bunch of questions and Jake sat quietly holding my hand. It was great to see them but I got tired quickly and they didn't end up staying very long.
That night around 10pm I had heart palpatations which lasted (by the clock) 3 minutes. I called the nurse and let her know. She said if it happens again she would call the heart specialist to come take a look. At 11:30pm they started again and I rang for the nurse. They didn't stop this time. At first I thought "I hope this lasts until the heart people get here", so they'd be able to see the problem and know how to fix it. But half an hour later my room was full of people and equipment and it was still going on and they were loading me with drugs, I took back that thought and just wanted it to end. The doctor said "Okay this drug will feel like a kick in the chest. Ready?" She administered it. I asked when the kick in the chest would happen, having felt nothing but the heart palpatations. She said "hmm" and then decided to move me to the respiratory/heart floor. So off we went. I said goodbye to my private room and was wheeled up a floor and into a very hot room with someone snoring in it. We were there about 10 minutes when the doc said she wanted me in the ICU. The nurse who'd moved all my stuff had just arrived with it when we were out the door and on our way downstairs to ICU. I'm actually surprised I didn't lose anything.
In the ICU the team who'd been trying to put IV's in me succeeded in getting additional ports in so I had a total of 6, and one was arterial. My flesh on my arms was almost completely bruises and swollen as a result. Later when Carol was there, she counted seven bags of stuff dripping into me at once. The doctor told me that my heart was beating over 200 beats per minute and I had v-fib. For my own sake just now I looked up the wikipedia definition:
Ventricular fibrillation (V-fib or VF) is a condition in which there is uncoordinated contraction of the cardiac muscle of the ventricles in the heart, making them quiver rather than contract properly. While there is activity, perhaps best described as "writhing like a can filled with worms" it is undetectable by palpation (feeling) at major pulse points of the carotid and femoral arteries especially by the lay person. Such an arrhythmia is only confirmed by ECG/EKG. Ventricular fibrillation is a medical emergency that requires prompt BLS/ACLS interventions because should the arrhythmia continue for more than a few seconds, it will likely degenerate further into asystole (a flat ECG with no rhythm- which is usually not responsive to therapy unless there is still some residual fine VF rhythm left or the patient is otherwise lucky and is treated very quickly); after this, within minutes blood circulation will cease, and sudden cardiac death (SCD) may occur in a matter of minutes and/or the patient could sustain irreversible brain damage and possibly be left brain dead (death often occurs if normal sinus rhythm is not restored within 90 seconds of the onset of VF, especially if it has degenerated further into asystole).
There was a lot of activity around me, obviously, with doctors telling me different options they were going to try to get my heart rate down and back to normal. One doctor told me she wanted to tilt the bed to a radical angle with my head down and then something else but I don't remember what, and the main doctor who was with me from the beginning said if the drugs she was giving me didn't start to work she was going to have to shock me. Defibrulate me. At this point I thought I was going to die. I was so scared and I cried, thinking of Jake and the boys and how sorry I was to have chosen to do this to myself and to them.
By the morning my heart rate had slowed down to 140 beats per minute and the v-fib was way less. No shocking had had to happen, no tilting the bed, yay the drugs worked.
Sunday I wasn't able to sleep. Every time I closed my eyes scary and gross visualizations came to my eyes immediately. I couldn't help imagining horrible things happening to my kids and to me and the lack of sleep was making me halucinate sounds. I thought I heard a song (that now I can't remember) being played over and over again, and I even asked a nurse about it. He thought I was crazy, of course. A day or so later I heard the humming noise of the machines that were making me think they were music. But back to Sunday. That night I didn't sleep either, except for maybe 1-2 hours. It was such a long night. By the next day I had banished the negative halucinations and replaced them with peaceful relaxing japanese gardens, pink blossoms, silken king-sized bed with dark wood headboard and flowing pink fabric blowing gently in the breeze. I could even hear beautiful music. All when I closed my eyes. I wasn't sleeping, and I'm pretty sure it wasn't drugs, although maybe it was the sleep deprivation and the drugs together, but when my eyes were open I wasn't halucinating. Even during blinks it was there. I could go on about my lucid fantastical waking dreams, but it would be a book.
On Monday Dr Smith sent me for a CT scan. He thought a blood clot had possibly caused all these problems. Unfortunately all the fluids they'd pumped me with caused me to be too heavy for the CT machine. The bed I was in weighed me at having gained 45 pounds of fluid since surgery. Dr Smith came and told me that since they couldn't look with the CT, he wanted to look with his laproscopic scopes. Open me up again. Of course I agreed to this third surgery. He also said he possibly wanted to keep me out for the rest of the night and wake me up on Tuesday, giving my body rest. At the time it sounded great. The surgery was scheduled for early that evening. I was told later it lasted 45 minutes or so. They found infection and abscess and icky stuff galore. They put in 2 drains.
I have to take a break. More later.
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
Saturday, July 10, 2010
Maybe it was worth it. Maybe.
I had a very big "WOW" moment today. But first the bad news. Today when I was at my daily nursing appointment to cleanse my two remaining wounds and rebandage them, she told me that the one was still infected and actually deeper than it had been two weeks ago. Also the infection has spread to my other wound which has also gotten deeper. She didn't tell me how deep they were, but they had both been 4.5 cms about 2 weeks ago. This news made me depressed, but the nurse assured me that daily cleansing would get rid of the infections and THEN we would be able to see the healing begin. Still that wasn't very nice news.
So what did I do? I went shopping with a girlfriend! We stopped in at Pennington's and were overjoyed to see the 70% off sale sign in the window! I really wanted to see what size I am. I was a 5X if I stretched it, buying 6X when I could find 'em. It felt really wrong to take the 4X's off the racks, which was my guess. Then I saw a beautiful dress that was super duper on sale, and I thought immediately of my cousin's wedding coming up in October, and I was encouraged to try on the largest size they still had, just to see, so I put on the 3X and
IT FREAKIN FIT!!!!
I bought the 2X for the wedding, and the saleswoman showed me where and how I should take it in if it's too big by then. Very easily, I might add. AND it was only $24!!
The other 4X shirts were roomy, which I couldn't believe. My brain is still a 5-6X but my bod is a 3-4X! I wonder how long till I convince my brain of that?
So what did I do? I went shopping with a girlfriend! We stopped in at Pennington's and were overjoyed to see the 70% off sale sign in the window! I really wanted to see what size I am. I was a 5X if I stretched it, buying 6X when I could find 'em. It felt really wrong to take the 4X's off the racks, which was my guess. Then I saw a beautiful dress that was super duper on sale, and I thought immediately of my cousin's wedding coming up in October, and I was encouraged to try on the largest size they still had, just to see, so I put on the 3X and
IT FREAKIN FIT!!!!
I bought the 2X for the wedding, and the saleswoman showed me where and how I should take it in if it's too big by then. Very easily, I might add. AND it was only $24!!
The other 4X shirts were roomy, which I couldn't believe. My brain is still a 5-6X but my bod is a 3-4X! I wonder how long till I convince my brain of that?
Monday, July 05, 2010
Physical Update
So here I am, 83 lbs less of me than at Christmas. Some "Before/During" pictures for your viewing .. um.. curiosity.
Sunday, July 04, 2010
Details
This might be a long one.
On Sunday May 16th Carol and I with Dhara drove to Toronto and slept overnight at her mother in law's place (Sheena) in Mississauga. I had to be at the hospital for 10am the next morning for my surgery which was scheduled for noon. We were on time, and I wore a gown that fit nicely but the robe to cover the back end was a little short. LOL. Not TOO short, just not comfortably long. At about 11am after my blood pressure was taken many times to get a good reading (and left a lovely bruise on my left arm) I was led to a reclining chair in order for my IV to be put in. I wasn't nervous or scared of the surgery and I wasn't having any second thoughts. Carol was gracious enough not to ask me if I was still "sure" this was the right thing to do.
At 12:45 the anesthesiologist came and got me and I walked down the hall to the operating room. The room was cold but the blankets were warm and some people with masks introduced themselves to me and I recognized Dr Smith's eyes. They arranged me with arms out and pillows under my head and then told me to breath deeply in an oxygen mask and I did and then I woke up in pain in recovery. They gave me morphine and had already started the gravol so I wouldn't be nauseaus. Carol came in for a minute and I felt like I should try to be more awake for her, but I was just so groggy and painy still that I just wanted to sleep until the pain was gone. After a while I was wheeled to my PRIVATE room (yay!) and Carol was allowed to stay with me.
The rest of the day and into the next I had to use a bed pan when I wanted to pee. That was difficult to overcome psychologically. I had to actually say out loud to myself "It's okay to pee now. It's okay to pee now." before I could relax enough to pee lying down in bed.
I would say the puking started Tuesday afternoon. I had been given my clear soup and diet chemical flavoured jello but not able to eat more than a bite or two. I was drinking sips of water and ice chips, and the first time I puked it was clear and watery. And then it turned brownish blackish and there was so much of it. I was filling two of the buckets they provided at a time. I found the morphine took the nausea away, but no one listened to me about that. They said the morphine caused more nausea. Later I retrospected that the morphine merely calmed my intestines down or sedated them so they didn't have the energy to heave their loads back up my mouth. The doctors did a CT scan on Thursday morning because the throwing up was not stopping, and it showed that where the intestines had been surgically attached, they had healed in a kink and were obstructed. I was scheduled for another surgery to correct the problem that same day. They were not able to accomplish their goal through laproscopic methods and so I ended up with 27 staples from my belly button up about 5". At least there were 27 of them.
That night was horrible. I woke up in the early wee hours of the morning with a stabbing terrible pain in the front of my shoulder. I was hooked up to a morphine clicky thing that I could click every 5 minutes for one little shot of the drug, but morphine wasn't helping this pain. I knew from my research that it was most likely gas from the laproscopic procedure (they fill your abdomen up with air so they can see what they're doing and some can get trapped and is quite painful). I read that gas x strips help. I had brought some but they were ever so far away in my duffle bag and the pain was so debilatating I could not move. I couldn't even move to find my nurses call bell. So I had to yell. I yelled feebly for help several times before Bev the Nurse From Hell came into the room. She argued with me that my shoulder didn't hurt that much because I was using so much of the morphine, and that it wasn't gas in my SHOULDER it must be muscle pain from how I lay during surgery. She sternly told me I was to have nothing by mouth including those strips and then implied that I probably got my bowels obstructed in the first place because I didn't follow the rules. She was mean, rude, and even though I was begging with her for something else because the pain was not going away, she didn't care. She told me to be quiet so the other patients could sleep. And maybe I passed out from pain. No, I wish I had. The next day an anesthesiologist came to see me and she said yes it was most likely gas pain and gave me some IV anti-inflamatory which took the edge off.
The good news was that I felt much better. No more nausea! I was only allowed ice chips, but they were the best friggin tasting things ever. I even had to get Carol to taste them to make sure they were plain, and not sweetened.
To Be Continued.
On Sunday May 16th Carol and I with Dhara drove to Toronto and slept overnight at her mother in law's place (Sheena) in Mississauga. I had to be at the hospital for 10am the next morning for my surgery which was scheduled for noon. We were on time, and I wore a gown that fit nicely but the robe to cover the back end was a little short. LOL. Not TOO short, just not comfortably long. At about 11am after my blood pressure was taken many times to get a good reading (and left a lovely bruise on my left arm) I was led to a reclining chair in order for my IV to be put in. I wasn't nervous or scared of the surgery and I wasn't having any second thoughts. Carol was gracious enough not to ask me if I was still "sure" this was the right thing to do.
At 12:45 the anesthesiologist came and got me and I walked down the hall to the operating room. The room was cold but the blankets were warm and some people with masks introduced themselves to me and I recognized Dr Smith's eyes. They arranged me with arms out and pillows under my head and then told me to breath deeply in an oxygen mask and I did and then I woke up in pain in recovery. They gave me morphine and had already started the gravol so I wouldn't be nauseaus. Carol came in for a minute and I felt like I should try to be more awake for her, but I was just so groggy and painy still that I just wanted to sleep until the pain was gone. After a while I was wheeled to my PRIVATE room (yay!) and Carol was allowed to stay with me.
The rest of the day and into the next I had to use a bed pan when I wanted to pee. That was difficult to overcome psychologically. I had to actually say out loud to myself "It's okay to pee now. It's okay to pee now." before I could relax enough to pee lying down in bed.
I would say the puking started Tuesday afternoon. I had been given my clear soup and diet chemical flavoured jello but not able to eat more than a bite or two. I was drinking sips of water and ice chips, and the first time I puked it was clear and watery. And then it turned brownish blackish and there was so much of it. I was filling two of the buckets they provided at a time. I found the morphine took the nausea away, but no one listened to me about that. They said the morphine caused more nausea. Later I retrospected that the morphine merely calmed my intestines down or sedated them so they didn't have the energy to heave their loads back up my mouth. The doctors did a CT scan on Thursday morning because the throwing up was not stopping, and it showed that where the intestines had been surgically attached, they had healed in a kink and were obstructed. I was scheduled for another surgery to correct the problem that same day. They were not able to accomplish their goal through laproscopic methods and so I ended up with 27 staples from my belly button up about 5". At least there were 27 of them.
That night was horrible. I woke up in the early wee hours of the morning with a stabbing terrible pain in the front of my shoulder. I was hooked up to a morphine clicky thing that I could click every 5 minutes for one little shot of the drug, but morphine wasn't helping this pain. I knew from my research that it was most likely gas from the laproscopic procedure (they fill your abdomen up with air so they can see what they're doing and some can get trapped and is quite painful). I read that gas x strips help. I had brought some but they were ever so far away in my duffle bag and the pain was so debilatating I could not move. I couldn't even move to find my nurses call bell. So I had to yell. I yelled feebly for help several times before Bev the Nurse From Hell came into the room. She argued with me that my shoulder didn't hurt that much because I was using so much of the morphine, and that it wasn't gas in my SHOULDER it must be muscle pain from how I lay during surgery. She sternly told me I was to have nothing by mouth including those strips and then implied that I probably got my bowels obstructed in the first place because I didn't follow the rules. She was mean, rude, and even though I was begging with her for something else because the pain was not going away, she didn't care. She told me to be quiet so the other patients could sleep. And maybe I passed out from pain. No, I wish I had. The next day an anesthesiologist came to see me and she said yes it was most likely gas pain and gave me some IV anti-inflamatory which took the edge off.
The good news was that I felt much better. No more nausea! I was only allowed ice chips, but they were the best friggin tasting things ever. I even had to get Carol to taste them to make sure they were plain, and not sweetened.
To Be Continued.
Saturday, July 03, 2010
HAPPY BIRTHDAY SARAHS!!!
Sarah V and Sarah M Happy Birthday you gorgeous girls!!!
Have a great day both of you and the best of wishes and fortune for the coming year.
Love
Jennifer
Have a great day both of you and the best of wishes and fortune for the coming year.
Love
Jennifer
Back By Popular Demand
I'm back to blogging! Lookit!
I have been laid up and unable to blog for quite some time, the story I hope to relate to you soon or in parts.
I would first like to begin by saying that I had fresh blueberries and yogurt last night and it was delicious! Jake and the boys went blueberry picking on Canada day and got some really nice tasty berries. The boys picked and ate, Jake picked and brought home. Nothing like fresh blueberries.
So here's why I couldn't blog. I went for surgery on May 17th to have an RNY gastric bypass. There were complications and I didn't get out of the hospital for 3 weeks and 2 days. I'm recouperating now at home, but it takes a lot out of me to sit up straight, so I don't like "wasting" my limited time at the computer. I'm getting better and better though, so hopefully blogging will be part of my regime again on a regular basis.
We're off to the grocery store now though, and I'm excited to try out one of those scooter thingies for the first time. LOL Watch out other customers!
I'll write more soon I promise.
I have been laid up and unable to blog for quite some time, the story I hope to relate to you soon or in parts.
I would first like to begin by saying that I had fresh blueberries and yogurt last night and it was delicious! Jake and the boys went blueberry picking on Canada day and got some really nice tasty berries. The boys picked and ate, Jake picked and brought home. Nothing like fresh blueberries.
So here's why I couldn't blog. I went for surgery on May 17th to have an RNY gastric bypass. There were complications and I didn't get out of the hospital for 3 weeks and 2 days. I'm recouperating now at home, but it takes a lot out of me to sit up straight, so I don't like "wasting" my limited time at the computer. I'm getting better and better though, so hopefully blogging will be part of my regime again on a regular basis.
We're off to the grocery store now though, and I'm excited to try out one of those scooter thingies for the first time. LOL Watch out other customers!
I'll write more soon I promise.
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