And I meant to post a Happy Mother's Day message on Sunday, but Sunday was so busy with Carol and fam here, and I had to work, and we visited my mom, I ran out of time. So a very happy belated Mother's Day wish for all the mothers out there, and for everyone who's ever had a mother. The following is a submission I wrote for a contest. The assignment was to write about a woman who inspired you. I gave this to my mom as part of her present. The other part was a photo album filled with pictures of the family that Carol and I compiled.
My Mother
By Jennifer Huss
By Jennifer Huss
My mother’s name is Kathleen Racicot. Shortly after her 65th birthday this spring, her health took a nose dive. The doctors told us she was dying and she could go any time. She had a living will stating she did not want any artificial life support, which meant if there was any kind of arrest, she would not receive any help, and that would be It. When I visited her, she did not look like the woman I knew as “Mommy”. Her face and body were swollen from the fluid retention that was caused by her failing kidneys. Her mind wasn’t completely there because her respiratory system was failing. She wasn’t getting enough oxygen to fuel her brain, which caused severe confusion, disorientation, loops in her thought processes, and she could not finish many of her sentences. Her liver was failing from damage by all the drugs she’d been on for years. That was a Tuesday; a day I will never forget as being the worst day of my life. The day I was face-to-face with the stark realization that My Mother Would Die.
I am 32 years old. I have an older sister who will be 34 in June. My dad is 65, and my parents will have been married for 40 years come this October. My mother is the kind of woman who is always cheerful. When I call her, she sparkles right up, and she’s always happy to hear from me. Growing up, she told us kids the most wonderful stories, and it wasn’t just at bedtime. She sang us songs and I learned to love music because of her. Songs she sang to me as a child, I now sing to my little boys. Recipes she taught me are now dishes I prepare for my own family. I learned how to nurture and care for my loved ones from the prime example that she provided.
My mother taught me how to be fair by ensuring that my sister and I shared things equally. My mother taught me how to treat others with respect and compassion. My mother taught me right from wrong and good from bad. It is wrong to cut your sister’s hair while she’s sleeping. It is good to apologize if you do something wrong. My mother taught me that loving family and friends is very important.
I took my mother for granted up until that Tuesday. I hadn’t been one to say “I love you” at the end of every phone call. She knew I loved her and that was good enough, I thought. I’d never said “thank you” to her for my wonderful childhood, or “sorry” to her for the rough years as a teen. That Tuesday I realized I might never be able to tell her those things. I realized that if you love someone, you need to tell them! It ISN’T enough to let love go unspoken. I thought it was too late. I thought I would lose my mother and never be able to tell her what she meant to me. The words “too soon, TOO SOON” echoed in my head every waking moment. I cried, I pleaded with any god who would listen, and I cried some more for my beautiful Mommy.
And then, a few days later, a miracle happened. A medication for her lungs helped her breathing and the increased oxygen meant she regained her mental faculties. She realized she wanted to revoke her previous decision to refuse life support. When I saw her that day, she feebly raised her fist above her head and said “I choose to live!” The enormous relief I felt after she took off the ‘do not resuscitate’ order was literally a huge weight off my chest. Of course I knew that expression, but I had never felt how accurate it really is. The most prevalent danger had been her respiratory system being so bad. She could have stopped breathing at any moment and they would have done nothing to help her. That was so scary. But the good news is that she’s slowly recovering, and even though she is still in the hospital and very weak, she’s gradually getting stronger.
I am so thankful for this second chance to tell my mother what she means to me. I no longer take her for granted. I tell her I love her every time I see her, and every time we talk. I know how special she is, and for me, every day is Mother’s Day.
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